The new fall line-up is here. How and why certain shows are selected over others is a very complicated process involving everything from random questionnaires to very precisely targeted focus-groups — even the latest psychiatric techniques (with the possible exceptions of medication and electric shock) for guiding those who may have fantasies of over-indulging their individuality only to flee back to the safety of the norm.
The effectiveness of this winnowing process isn’t precisely quantified as yet, for it in turn rests upon a considerably more complicated process: the dark interplay between the unconscious complexes of network executives and the uncertain emotional projections of the collectorate they pander to.
Because you and I, as the unknown ‘quantum variable’ in every decision made for our collective viewing pleasure, have such limited personal options in what we see and don’t see, here are some new pilots that sailed over network heads:
What’s My Dysfunction?
This amusing re-take on the sixties game show, What’s My Line?, puts the fun back in dysfunction. Charismatic host Burf Burford mediates and mocks a panel of distinguished celebrities who compete through a series of questions to guess the peculiar mental afflictions of each week’s special guest. The pilot narrowly edged out two close contenders: I’m With Stupid: candid reality-conversations between carefully selected married couples vying for emotional one-upmanship and, Bottom-Feeders, a behind-the-scenes look at political campaigning.
Response was tepid. The majority felt that, while it was slightly amusing, it made a sport of mental illness and evoked discomfort, mostly about family members, colleagues and neighbors. In the end, the sensitivity of the subject hit ‘too close to home’ for most viewers. In segregated interviews, however, men described it as tedious and even ‘excruciating’ when compared to reality competition shows like, Naked Bachelorette, and Nude Bridal Wars, and lacked spontaneity. Execs nixed it in favor of Bared And Scared, and its stark portrayal of the bonds and boundaries defined in real-life marital relations.
Dr. Do-Little
He talks to animals but not the kind you’re thinking of. This farcical re-mix of the old My Three Sons motif features a modern-day psychiatrist/dad struggling to raise three offspring in the wake of a divorce. In the pilot, Dr. Abnorm Drowse is faced with the sole custody of marital fruits which have suddenly morphed into rotten teen-age couch-potatoes.
To top it off, they’re all precocious girls with very different notions than the traditional patriarchal values their father was raised with. All his psychiatric training and experience go hilariously awry as he tries helplessly to confront feminine puberty from the male perspective in the modern computer age. These predictably spell his demise as both parent and professional, and Dr. Dad soon discovers that the only prescription for self-esteem is self-medication!
Christ On A Crimson Crutch
This irreverent spoof of conventional religion follows the antics of self-anointed sojourner and bhuddistic metaphor, Howie Greeve, as he wanders aimlessly across the country in search of a long-lost spiritual ideal. His quirky mixture of introverted/extraverted tendencies leads not to spiritual salvation, however, but to a comical series of gaffes and guffaws in the ‘drive-through’ relationships he encounters on his way.
Clumsy attempts to appeal to wider viewing audiences through the marriage of the adolescent road trip theme with the more mature search for the soul were not enough, however, to warrant a thumbs-up from either focus group. Most outside New Jersey felt that it was not a true picture of travel Americana but a circus-like caricature of commercialism and the fast-food communities that dominate rural life around interstate exits.
Madam President
This edgy new sit-com troubled network execs from the start. Studio audience response was split fifty-fifty; that is, until the last scene which introduces the surprise theme of this social experiment. The new POTUS is not just any female politician; there’s much more behind her interest in the LGBTQ community than liberal progressiveness and minority voter appeal. In fact, “she” fulfills all the categories in LGBTQ, and not only did no one know — not even her husband — the crazy fall-out sends her PR agency scrambling to re-define sexual equality in a new post-gender age!
While the revealing final scene dipped approval ratings slightly, this in itself was not enough for execs to cancel it. Most women found it delightful; however, it was noted in tape reviews that many of the men who expressed distaste had ‘laughed a little too hard’ during the screening for it to be canned altogether. Though considered too controversial to be aired this fall, it was put on the back burner as a possible replacement for ‘clunkers’ which bottom out before spring re-runs.
Einstein’s Ghost
Nerdy social outcast and computer whiz, Ned Bungler, has a secret weapon when it comes to the over-bearing emotional compensations of school bullies. His personal spirit-guide is not just any old imaginary friend but the world-famous physicist who proved that space and time are relative. He communicates to Ned through his My-Phone, and you’ve never seen death, science, and the space-time continuum through such a foggy, fun-filled lens. It’s the new counter-intuitive, dual reality of psychic inter-facing in the digital age: asocial networking!
Watch for this one to air sooner than later. The youngsters’ enthusiasm clearly suggested an untapped market, though some targets complained at the lack of zombies and vampires. These could easily be worked into the scripts according to network evaluations. Oldsters’ desires to keep up with fashionable trends (at least among the less cynical) unpredictably criss-crossed the generational divide; the only hitch is working the zombie/vampire gambit into a senior format.
Read here for a serious account of mid-life with the aid of Jung’s psychology.